CELPIP Writing Samples: What a Strong Response Looks Like
These CELPIP writing samples show four strong responses, two emails and two survey answers, at Levels 9 and 10. Each one comes with notes on why it reaches that level and what would lift it further. The prompts are from our own bank, and the levels are our estimates, not official scores.
Find out your own level
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We chose four everyday situations with different readers and purposes. To see how responses change from one level to the next, use the Task 1 samples with answers and Task 2 samples with answers pages, which show the same tasks written at Levels 5, 7, 9 and 11.
A formal email to an internet provider about three outages and lost work time (task email-services-01, Level 10).
A semi-formal email offering to volunteer at a food bank over the holidays (task email-community-02, Level 9).
A parent's survey answer on phones in class (task survey-education-02, Level 10).
A patient's survey answer on evening clinic hours versus video and phone appointments (task survey-health-recreation-02, Level 9).
Task 1: Writing an Email · Services and complaints
Complain about repeated internet outages
Your home internet has stopped working three times in the past two weeks, each time for several hours. You work from home, and each outage cost you part of a working day. You pay $85 a month for the service and have been a customer for five years.
Write an email to the customer service department of your internet provider in about 150–200 words. Your email should do the following things:
- Describe the problem with your service.
- Explain how it has affected your work.
- Request a specific form of compensation.
Sample answer at Level 10 (CLB 10, highly effective)
178 words
Dear Customer Service,
I am writing to complain about my home internet service, account number 4471-2093. In the last two weeks my internet stopped working three times, on October 2, October 7 and October 13, and each time it was down for three to six hours. When I called your support line, nobody could explain me what was the reason of the problem.
These outages have really affected my work. I work from home as a bookkeeper, so I need the internet for the whole working day. Because of the second outage I missed a video call with an important client, which was very embarrassing for me. Altogether I lost more than one working day.
I have been your customer for five years and I always paid my $85 bill on time. Given the scale of the disruption, I think it is fair to ask for a discount on this month's bill, and I would also like a technician to check my line. If the problem continue, I will have to look for another provider.
Sincerely,
Mariam Hosseini
Why this is Level 10
A range of support in every paragraph: the account number, three dates, outages of three to six hours, a missed client call, more than a working day lost, five years of on-time payments.
One precise formal phrase ("Given the scale of the disruption") and a firm, professional tone, though most of the wording is plain ("really affected my work", "very embarrassing for me").
A two-part request: a discount on this month's bill and a technician to check the line.
What keeps it below 11: several slips ("explain me what was the reason of the problem", "I always paid", "If the problem continue"), a discount with no amount, and an ending that is a warning instead of a clear next step.
To reach Level 11
Make the request exact: "a credit of $85 for this month and a technician visit by Friday".
Fix the grammar slips: "nobody could explain the cause", "I have always paid", "If the problem continues".
You saw a poster at your community centre saying that the local food bank needs extra volunteers for the holiday season. You have free time on weekends and would like to help people in your community, and you also hope to meet new people.
Write an email to the volunteer coordinator at the food bank in about 150–200 words. Your email should do the following things:
- Explain why you would like to volunteer.
- Describe any skills or experience that could be useful.
- Tell the coordinator which days and hours you are available.
Sample answer at Level 9 (CLB 9, effective)
178 words
Dear Volunteer Coordinator,
I saw your poster at the community centre that the food bank needs more volunteers for the holidays and I would like to help.
I moved to Halifax eight months ago with my family and people here helped us a lot when we arrived. A volunteer from a church helped us to find warm clothes for my children, so now I want to help other people too. Also I don't know many people here yet, volunteering is a good way to meet new people.
I think I have some useful skills. In the Philippines I was working for six years as a stock clerk in a big supermarket, so I know how to sort products, check the expiry date and keep the shelves organized. I am also strong and I can lift heavy boxes. I speak Tagalog too if some of your client need it.
I am free every Saturday from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. and sometimes on Sunday afternoon.
Thank you and i hope to hear from you soon.
Best regards,
Joel Santos
Why this is Level 9
A clear purpose in the first sentence, then one paragraph for each bullet, in order.
Relevant, personal details: a church volunteer who helped the family, six years as a stock clerk, sorting products and checking expiry dates, speaking Tagalog, Saturday hours.
Errors are occasional and don't block meaning: "your poster at the community centre that the food bank needs", "helped us to find", "I was working for six years", "some of your client", a comma splice and a lowercase "i".
What keeps it at 9: "I think I have some useful skills" is a weak topic sentence, "help" and "people" are repeated, and "sometimes on Sunday afternoon" is too vague to plan with.
To reach Level 10
Give exact availability for every day you offer: "Saturdays from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. and Sundays from 1 to 5 p.m. until the end of December."
Vary the repeated words ("support", "give back", "neighbours") and fix the small slips: "I worked for six years", "some of your clients".
Task 2: Responding to Survey Questions · Education
Full phone ban or teacher-approved phone use
Phones in Class Survey
Teachers at a high school in your area have noticed that many students are distracted by their phones during lessons. The principal is considering a new rule for next year and wants to hear from parents before deciding.
Choose the option that you prefer. Why do you prefer your choice? Explain the reasons for your choice. Write about 150–200 words.
Option A: I prefer banning phones completely during school hours.
Option B: I prefer allowing phones in class only when the teacher gives permission.
Sample answer at Level 10 (CLB 10, highly effective)
151 words
As a parent of two teenagers at the school, I would prefer allowing phones in class only when the teacher gives permission.
A complete ban sounds simple but I don't think it will work. Students need their phones to get home after school so they will bring them anyway, and then teachers will spend class time on taking phones away. A clear rule that phones stay in backpack unless the teacher say otherwise is easier to enforce consistently.
More importantly, phones can be really useful for learning. My daughter's chemistry teacher asks the students to make short videos of their lab work, and her marks have improved since she started this. A full ban would take this away also from teachers who use phones in a good way.
Also, many parents like me need to reach our children after school when plans change.
That said, I agree the problem is real.
Why this is Level 10
Three reasons, each in its own paragraph with a clear opener ("More importantly", "Also"), written as a parent rather than as an essay writer.
A range of support: a practical prediction about teachers taking phones away, a chemistry class where students make videos of their lab work, a parent's need to reach their children.
Some precise wording ("enforce consistently", "That said") next to plainer phrases ("really useful", "in a good way").
What keeps it below 11: the choice copies the option, there are small slips ("the teacher say", "stay in backpack", "take this away also from"), the third reason is one line, "since she started this" could mean the teacher or the daughter, and the last line ("That said, I agree the problem is real.") doesn't say what should happen next.
To reach Level 11
Develop the third reason with an example, and end with one sentence that sums up why permission-based use is better.
State the choice in your own words and fix the small slips: "unless the teacher says otherwise", "stay in their backpacks".
Task 2: Responding to Survey Questions · Health and recreation
Evening clinic hours or virtual appointments
Community Health Clinic Survey
Your community health clinic is very busy, and patients often wait weeks for an appointment. The clinic has received funding for one improvement and is asking its patients which change would help them most.
Choose the option that you prefer. Why do you prefer your choice? Explain the reasons for your choice. Write about 150–200 words.
Option A: I prefer longer clinic hours in the evenings and on Saturdays.
Option B: I prefer video and phone appointments for simple health concerns.
Sample answer at Level 9 (CLB 9, effective)
172 words
I prefer longer clinic hours in the evenings and on Saturdays.
The main reason is that many people like me can not leave work easily during the day. I work in a warehouse until 3:30 p.m. and it is hard to get time off. Last month I had a bad ear infection and i waited almost two weeks for an appointment, then I had to take an unpaid afternoon off to see the doctor. If the clinic was open in the evening I could go after my shift.
Secondly, many health problems need the doctor to see the patient in person. A doctor can not check your ear on a video call, so a lot of patients will still need to wait for a normal appointment anyway.
I understand that video appointments are good for simple things like prescriptions. But longer hours can help everyone, also seniors who are not comfortable with technology and the people who work like me.
For these reasons, I think longer hours would make the biggest difference.
Why this is Level 9
A clear choice, then two reasons, each with some support: a warehouse shift until 3:30 p.m., an ear infection, almost two weeks of waiting and an unpaid afternoon off.
The second reason is practical: a doctor can't check an ear on a video call.
Errors are occasional and don't block meaning: "can not", a comma splice before "then", "If the clinic was open", a lowercase "i" and "also seniors".
What keeps it at 9: "many" and "longer hours" are repeated, the choice copies the option, and the conclusion repeats the choice without a final point.
To reach Level 10
Develop the second reason with another example, such as a blood pressure check or a child's breathing.
Vary the repeated words and fix the small slips: "cannot", "If the clinic were open", "including seniors".
The two emails differ in tone, but they are built the same way:
The first sentence says why the writer is writing. Neither email opens with small talk.
One paragraph per bullet, in the order the task gives them.
Details a reader could check: the dates of the outages, an account number, six years as a stock clerk, Saturdays from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m.
A request or offer the reader can act on: a discount on this month's bill and a technician visit; Saturday hours for the volunteer shifts.
A tone set by the reader: formal and firm for a company, warm and polite for a volunteer coordinator.
What strong survey answers have in common
The two survey answers argue for different kinds of change, but they share the same habits:
The choice is clear in the first sentence and stays clear to the end.
Each reason gets its own paragraph and a specific example: a chemistry teacher's lab videos, an ear infection that cost an unpaid afternoon off.
The other option is taken seriously. Both answers admit what it offers before explaining why their choice is better.
No list or point form, and no academic essay style. They read like a parent or a patient writing to people who will make a decision.
What separates Level 9 from Level 10
The two Level 9 samples and the two Level 10 samples are close. All four have a few small errors; the difference is mostly in range and precision.
Range of support. The Level 10 email backs its points with dates, durations, a missed client call and more than a working day lost. The Level 9 email relies more on one personal story.
Precise vocabulary. "Given the scale of the disruption" and "enforce consistently" say exactly what the writer means. The Level 9 samples use accurate but more general wording ("some useful skills", "the biggest difference").
Transitions. The Level 10 survey answer moves between ideas with "More importantly" and "That said". The Level 9 answer relies on "Secondly" and "For these reasons".
Repetition. Repeated words ("help", "many") are one of the clearest signs of 9 rather than 10.
What still keeps them below Level 11
Even strong responses have weaknesses, and it helps to know what they look like. In these four: an email that ends on a warning instead of a clear next step, a reason that is shorter than the others, a pronoun that could refer to two people, a few repeated words and some small grammar slips.
At Levels 11 and 12, almost every sentence carries an exact, relevant detail, the transitions carry meaning, and the tone suits the reader exactly. The Level 11 samples on the Task 1 and Task 2 pages show what that looks like.
How to study a sample without memorizing it
Samples are most useful when you write first and read second:
Read the prompt and plan your own answer for two minutes before you read the sample.
Write your version on a timer: 27 minutes for an email, 26 for a survey.
Compare paragraph by paragraph. Where did the sample use a specific detail where you used a general one?
Collect structures, not sentences. "Given the scale of...", "While I understand why..." and "Should the problem continue..." work in many tasks; a paragraph about internet outages works in one.
Rewrite one paragraph of your own response using what you noticed. For structures by register, see the templates page; for timed practice, see the writing practice page.
Find out your own level
Write a task under test conditions and get a level on all four dimensions. 1 free graded task every day, no card needed.
No. AimNine wrote the prompts and the responses. The levels are our estimates based on the public CELPIP level descriptors; these are not official samples and were not rated by CELPIP raters.
What CELPIP level do I need for CLB 9?+
CELPIP Level 9 corresponds to CLB 9; the score chart page has the full table. Whether CLB 9 matters for your application depends on your program, so check the official IRCC pages.
Is a Level 9 response perfect?+
No. Level 9 writing has good control and occasional errors that don't get in the way of meaning. The Level 9 samples here have small weaknesses, and the notes point them out.
Should I write more to get a higher level?+
Not by itself. These samples are all 150-200 words. A higher level comes from better development, precision and control, not from extra sentences.
Where can I find samples at lower levels?+
The Task 1 and Task 2 samples with answers pages show three tasks each at Levels 5, 7, 9 and 11, with the same kind of notes.